Back to Life
by fangbanger21
Summary: Rick has had enough of this world. So has Daryl. Will they continue living as is or will they give up completely?
1. Chapter 1

**Back to Life**

**Chapter 1: Gone**

It had been days that he'd remained in that trance like position, sitting down, legs curved up, arms resting on his knees; his blue eyes staring out into nothing. He felt the ache and numbness on his thighs and back but he refused to get up. The cold dirt underneath him didn't even bother him. Rick's eyes continued looking straight ahead and even though one might think he was actually looking at the green scenery in front of him, it was the total opposite. He wasn't lost in his thoughts. It was more than that. He was lost, yes, but he was lost into an abyss that he couldn't get out of. He didn't fight it. All his fighting strength was gone; taken from him. The man tried hard not to think about it. He tried hard but trying was futile.

Rick had tried to keep them alive; to save them. He really had. But it hadn't been enough. They were dead. The only two people that Rick had left were gone. He tried not to think of their faces but they were engraved in his skull and the pain stabbed him like a knife. Rick had almost fallen to the ground upon discovering that his baby girl was alive. He thought he was hallucinating the same way he did when he would see Lori's ghost at the prison. Rick's legs were weak and he had to command them to run towards Carol, the woman who he had banished from the prison upon finding out what she had done, but who now stood there holding Judith in her arms. That was the last time Rick had felt a state of bliss in his rotten world. And there was his son, Carl; the boy that meant the world to him. The boy that had once looked up to him so much. The boy that he had fought so hard to protect. Rick blamed himself. If only he had been more ruthless, more heartless; less human; they would still be alive. They would all still be alive. _I should have killed him. I should have killed him. None of this would have happened if I had just killed him. We would have never left the prison if it weren't for that monster. _

Why had this happened? He wondered. Why? Did they deserve it? He didn't think they did. Yes they had killed people and he knew that it was what had to be done. Rick had tried to live by the old rules and like the rest of his group, was forced to adapt to the new ones. It was a new world after all. It was a fucked up world but it was new nonetheless and just like in the old one, they had had to learn how to survive in it. Why had the world gone to shit? Why now? How? Rick remembered asking himself these questions not too long ago and once had wondered if he would ever find an answer. Time gave him none. He'd wondered why the government, who he had once respected and saw as the ultimate source of power, could let this happen. He hated them for letting everything get so out of control. _This isn't real_, he thought. _None of this is real. It can't be._ He had been in that place before many times now and he had managed to pull himself out of it. This time that seemed unlikely.

_He'll be fine. Just give him sum time_, Daryl told himself. Daryl had spent his morning setting up multiple snares. It wasn't that he was less broken than Rick was; he just figured that one of them had to try a little harder than the other one to keep them both alive. Daryl knew Rick was a strong man. He had learned this back at the prison. He believed Rick could pull through; believed both of them would. Daryl tried not to think about the pain Rick must be feeling about losing his two children. He tried not thinking about any of them, and he succeeded in doing so. He knew that if he did, he would be just like Rick; weak and useless. It wasn't that Daryl was heartless for thinking that. It's just that he knew damn well that both wouldn't last long alive if they both remained in that state. Daryl had only grieved once in his life and that was when his mother died when he was a child. He did not grieve for his father's death and as to for his brother's death, he just never had the time to mourn him the way normal people mourn their loved ones. The sad truth was that it had always been dog eat dog for Daryl and here he was, alive; a survivor.

Why out of thousands of people that were dead, Daryl was not, he often wondered. _Is it because I'm strong? No. That's not it._ He pushed the thoughts aside and found that his snare had caught a mildly chubby rabbit. If this had happened another day, a day far from these days, when he would have happily announced to the group of his caught reward, he would have smiled. Daryl and Rick had always looked out for each other back at the prison despite their first unpleasant encounter with each other. That hadn't changed. The surviving redneck was determined to keep himself and Rick alive just like he did back at the prison. It had been a while since Daryl had caught such a meaty rabbit. He'd always prefer the taste of rabbit to the taste of deer. Once he finished checking on the last snare and found that no other animal had caught in them, he went to sit by the shack they had been staying at for the past few days. They were lucky to have found the place walker-free.

After skinning the rabbit, Daryl went to look for Rick. He already knew where he was. Rick had spent his days up on a small hill less than a mile from the shack.

The day Daryl and Rick found the shack, three days after leaving Terminus, they had been exhausted in every way. They hadn't slept or eaten and Daryl suggested they spent the night there. Rick did not object to that. He didn't say anything. He just nodded at his suggestion. Daryl was not a man of many words and silence did not bother him, but after spending days with Rick, a man of many words, he'd found it strange to only have gotten a couple of words out of him. He knew that was to be expected; he knew he was grieving, but Daryl couldn't help to wonder when Rick would speak to him again. As he walked down the trail, his crossbow in hand, (an old habit), he spotted Rick. He was standing.

Normally, Daryl would have called out his name instead of having to walk up to him until they were face to face, but he felt like he needed to be more formal, something he rarely was. "Rick," Daryl said. The man standing a few feet from him did not turn to meet his gaze. Rick had been covered in blood from head to toe the day it'd all happened and even though he had cleaned up, he still looked rugged. "Rick," Daryl repeated. "I caught a rabbit. If ya wanna eat".

"Thanks. Not hungry," Rick replied solemnly.

"You got to eat man", Daryl replied. Rick let out a small sigh. He wanted to just be alone out here. Being with Daryl reminded him of the people they'd lost. He wished Daryl would just walk back to the shack. He almost felt bad for thinking that.

"I'm not hungry Daryl. I'll eat later," he assured him. And with that said, Daryl knew it would be stupid to keep trying and walked back to the shack.

Just like the previous night, Rick awoke screaming from the horrible nightmare that tore up his insides. He panted hard trying to catch his breath, sweat dripping from his hair down his forehead and quickly tried to erase the picture from his mind. In the room next to Rick's was Daryl's, who laid there awake, wanting to go check on Rick, but didn't. That had been how their nights had been; Rick being awoken by the nightmares and Daryl being awoken by his screaming. It was something that couldn't be helped.

As the days went by, Rick did not get better. In the old world, people grieved a person's death in different ways. Some decided to keep themselves occupied; women would clean their homes for hours until they tired; some spent a lot of time with family and friends and avoided being at home by themselves; others found simple tasks to do as simple as reading or watching a lot of tv in their room. Rick did not do any of that. He couldn't do any of those things, like watch tv or read books, not just because there was no tv or books in the shack, but because he didn't have the desire to do anything. He spent his time sitting up on the small hill. There was a tree there so big one could climb it and be able to see miles of the vicinity.

Rick thought about Lori. He thought about when he first met her; the good days; the time he was so in love with her. She was his first and only love. He thought about the times they would go to the park and just walk around it in circles, talking, never getting tired of the routine. He really enjoyed doing that and he knew she did too. He remembers the first time he told her 'I love you' right there in the middle of the baseball field. It had been a cool summer night and they had danced in the field to each other's songs. He had loved her so much.

When Rick became a cop, while being married to Lori, their love suffered. Neither of them knew how to fix the issue and even though their arguing wasn't as bad as other couple's, they knew something was broken. What it was, they weren't sure. They never went to marriage counseling and after Carl was born, it only got worse. Rick had tried to be reasonable. He never yelled at Lori the way she yelled at him and that angered her. Sometimes Lori thought she didn't deserve him; he was simply too good of a man. Perhaps it was the way her father had treated her mother that had given her a sense that that was just the way husbands treated their wives, and when Rick acted otherwise, it shocked her.

Rick wished he could go back in time; he never really wished that, never really had regrets about his past, but he did with Lori; with his wife. He wished he could just go back and fix it. Maybe if he had done that, she would still be alive. They would still have each other, and maybe their love could be restored, with time. Maybe if Rick hadn't spent so much of his time at the police station, maybe if he had spent more time with her and Carl, maybe he would have been happier. He spent an amount of time thinking about that. It angered him. How could he be so blind? Rick had great policeman instincts which he applied to his everyday life and helped him catch bad guys and even helped him save his life on multiple occasions. If only he had used some of those instincts to see what was going on at his home.

Rick was not a religious man. He didn't believe God ever helped him with anything and so he wasn't going to curse at him for all of this, even if he wanted to. He knew he had survived hundreds of encounters with walkers and people, but he saw that as mere luck, not God's work. He then thought about Carl. He wished his son had gotten the chance to do all the things he was supposed to do in the old life; learn how to drive, date a girl, graduate from high school, go to college, get married. Carl was a good person and he deserved that and so much more. Judith deserved the same. She never got to meet her mother and Rick couldn't forgive himself for that, even after all this time. The little girl who might not have even been his biological daughter, but still loved her as if she was; who was never meant to grow up in this fucked up world but he hoped would still survive it as Rick and Carl had, was dead. Gone. Gone like everyone else.

_I can't do this anymore. I just can't. _

Rick had lost his will to live. He was gone as well. There was nothing he could do anymore. It was ok to let go now, he thought. This world was not for him. Not anymore. The decision was made and nothing could change his mind.


	2. Chapter 2

**Back to Life**

**Chapter 2: Torn**

Daryl rubbed his eyes as he sat up lazily on the bed that had managed to provide him with a couple of hours of sleep. It hadn't been enough of course but it had been more sleep than he'd gotten in weeks. The dirty long hair that hung down his face, which had grown even longer these past few weeks, and the dark circles under his eyes, along with the old worn out clothes, gave the man the appearance of a poor homeless man. Daryl wasn't conscious of this of course. It wasn't like he spent his day in front of a mirror and there was no one to impress. The truth was, Daryl had never been the grooming kind of guy.

He got up and went to the small kitchen. The kitchen was very small and looked badly designed to Daryl. He knew they were low on food, having consumed most of the canned good the first few days they'd stayed there but he went on and checked the cupboard anyway. There were three cans left; one was filled with corn, the other one with tomato sauce and there other with tuna.

"Damn", he muttered.

Daryl knew he would have to go look for food soon. He also wondered if Rick was capable of going with him. Not giving it a second thought, he exited the shack and went to look for him.

He knew exactly where he would be. Once he made his way to the small hill, he didn't see him there. _Where is he?_ he wondered. He decided to put his tracking skills to save himself time. On the grass, it was hard to see any footprints. Right away he knew it wouldn't be so simple. He decided to walk north, into the forest. Suddenly he remembered that he'd left his crossbow at the shack and hoped he wouldn't need it. He still had that knife in his back pocket and he knew how to use it.

It felt like an hour to Daryl, walking through the forest and still no trace of Rick. He was becoming frustrated and a little worried. He knew Rick could handle himself better than any other but he wondered why he had left just like that. How many times had Daryl done this? Walked through a forest looking for someone? He had done this in the old life and the new one. He had looked for his brother Merle more than twice, Sophia, Beth, and now Rick.

_He can't be far_, he thought. Daryl picked up a trail after walking through a grassy area with a small section of dirt around it. The trail was faint but it was something. He was sure it was Rick's. By the way Rick's footsteps had been marked on places where Daryl wouldn't have seen easily, it almost seemed to Daryl as if Rick didn't want to be found; like he was avoiding leaving any trace of his entrance to the forest at all. Daryl thought hard about this and he began to have a bad feeling in his gut. _Rick. _He hoped he was wrong.

He concentrated harder at the soil beneath his feet, not leaving any details out. A simple twig on the ground could tell him a lot. Up ahead by a tall oak tree, he saw a body behind it. It was a walker. Daryl approached it carefully holding grabbing the knife out of his pant pocket. The walker was dead, its head completely bashed in. Had Rick done this? Most likely. It had been a smart move not to shoot it; he'd obviously beaten it to death with the blood-covered rock sitting a few feet away from it. _I should be getting closer to where he is_, he thought.

The sun was hitting hard through the open gaps above the trees and Daryl's body was starting to perspire. He wanted to find Rick already and head back to the shack. _Damn you Rick. _He continued following the trail by the walker's body and stopped himself, dumbfounded at the sight in front of him. A lake he hadn't seen before stood right in front of him, its water dark, green, and bright all at the same time. Daryl walked towards the lake and wanted nothing more but to just dive into it when he spotted something that looked like a human body floating in the middle of the water. Daryl could not see its face as the body's back faced his direction. He got closer to the shore of the lake and squinting his eyes at the figure inside the lake, he realized it was Rick.

"Rick!" he called out. "Rick!"

Rick didn't turn around. He just stood there, floating in place. Daryl yelled out his name again and still didn't get a response. _What the hell's he doing?_

Without bothering to take off his shirt and pants, he just took off his shoes and went into the water. The water was cold but it felt good against his hot skin. He began to swim towards Rick and called his name again, "Rick! What the hell are you doing man! I've been looking all over for you." Rick heard Daryl clearly but he still did not acknowledge his presence there. He seemed very lost in translation, just like he'd been these past few days. Daryl got even closer to him and said more calmly, "Rick. What are you doing man?" when he saw the gun in Rick's hand. Rick finally turned to look at Daryl. Rick's eyes looked at Daryl as if he didn't recognize him; they saw him as a stranger. "Rick? What's going on man? What are you doing over here?" Daryl said uneasy. He could tell something wasn't right.

Rick continued to stare at Daryl as if not even hearing the words that had just come out of his mouth. Putting his hand over his shoulder, Daryl said, "Rick? What are you doing man? Talk to me."

"Go away," Rick finally replied angrily. "Leave me alone. Just go away Daryl." Daryl became pissed in a second. "Rick what the fuck man," he spat. "I've been looking for you for hours man. I thought something might have happened to you and here you are in the middle of a fuckin' lake telling me to go away. What the fuck's wrong with you?"

Rick looked at the man with those intense blue eyes. He didn't look guilty or bothered by the fact that Daryl had gone looking for him. He knew Daryl would do just that. Daryl waited for Rick to say something but all he did was sigh. "Just leave me be. Go back to the shack."

Daryl became infuriated. He wanted to punch Rick in the face but he knew better than to do that. He tried hard to calm down and remembered the gun in his hand. "I'm not leaving until you tell me what the hell you're doing here. Don't look to me like you just came to swim."

Rick's head lowered down to meet the water. He remained like that, not saying anything to Daryl for a minute, while the other man waited patiently for an answer. Daryl shivered a little as a small gust of wind blew by. "Daryl. Just…go," Rick said, his voice low and cold.

Daryl felt like he was about to lose it completely. "You tryin' to kill yourself? Is that it?" he said even colder. Rick's expression remained motionless, his eyes still looking down at the dark water. "I-" Rick said. "Daryl. I'm done. I can't do this anymore. I can't. I give. I've lost them all. They're all dead Daryl. We couldn't save them and now they're dead. Carl. Judith. Dead. I have nothing else to live for. I don't want to be alone in this world. They were my strength don't you see that? And now they're…gone."

Daryl felt like such an asshole. "What about me Rick?" he began to say, still angry. "You gonna leave me too?" Right after saying that, he regretted it. He didn't know what had come over him and why he would say something like that. _Damn it. _But he was right.

Rick's face looked astounded at Daryl's response. He was completely speechless. "Daryl, I-" he said but didn't know what to say. Daryl didn't know what to say either. The water around them began to feel colder. "You know they were my family too Rick. I've never had a family before. Not like them. It's hard for me too. Please don't do this," Daryl said with a broken voice.

Rick looked at Daryl this time. His blue eyes confused, lost. He felt guilty and he didn't know what to say to him. He had thought about his decision, the reasons behind it, but he hadn't considered Daryl's feelings. Daryl was not his friend; that he knew; he was more than that. He was his brother. Rick was torn. He was torn and he was tired of floating in the cold water. But he knew that he had to do this.

"I'm sorry Daryl. I've made my decision. I'm doing this," Rick finally said. The water began to feel extremely cold. Daryl couldn't believe him. He'd thought somehow he could get through to him but he saw that he just couldn't. Unless…

The thought came to him like a breath of air and he thought he was crazy for even thinking it. Without giving it much thought, Daryl said "Fine. So have I," and he went underwater. He let go completely of his body's strength and did not try to swim.

"Daryl? Daryl!" Rick yelled out. "Daryl stop messing around!" he said angrily. Rick waited seconds for Daryl to come back to the surface and when he didn't, he brought his head under to see him. When he saw Daryl's body falling down slowly, he knew it was real. Adrenaline pumping through his cold body, he swam towards him as fast as he could. Daryl's eyes were closed when Rick's hands grabbed his torso and pulled him upwards, trying to bring him back into the surface. Rick could tell the lake was very deep and that if he'd waited a little longer to dive down and get Daryl, it might have been very difficult to bring them both back up.

They made it to the surface, both gasping for air, their bodies barely being able to float. "Daryl!" Rick said out of breath. "Answer me!" Daryl's eyes opened slowly, the color of his skin robbed of oxygen. "Rick", he managed to say, his voice barely audible. "Hang on", Rick told him and turned him so he could be behind him, locking Daryl's arms around his neck and holding them tight with his hands. With barely any strength left, Rick tried hard to swim back to the shore.

They walked in silence through the woods, Daryl leading them back to the shack. Daryl knew Rick was angry, and so he didn't bother to say anything. He was just glad he'd saved him even though it had almost cost him his life. He knew perfectly well why Rick was pissed but he could deal with that later. Right now his main goal was to get them back to the shack before the sunlight abandoned the forest. Daryl felt the footsteps behind him cease. Hesitantly, he turned around to find Rick staring right at him. The look he shot at Daryl penetrated right through him. He was familiar with that look. It was the look of betrayal.

"I'm not going back" Rick said. "Daryl, what you did back there, it wasn't fair. You know it wasn't. I told you already. Nothing you say is going to change my mind. I'm doing this, even if you are not okay with it. I just can't do this anymore. Can you understand that?"

Daryl did understand. He did not blame Rick for wanting to die. Still, he wasn't okay with his decision. He wanted to convince him to not do it but he didn't know what to tell him. He knew saying that things would be okay was bullshit. Because it was. Things wouldn't be okay, ever. They'd learned this multiple times. They both had lost people. A lot of people. Too many. But now that Rick was the last person in his life, he just couldn't lose him.

"Rick. Please. Don't do this. Don't…leave me," Daryl pleaded, feeling so vulnerable. He felt so strange saying this to him, exposing this side of him that he'd tried so hard not to show anyone.

Rick couldn't believe hearing Daryl speak like that. "Daryl," he sighed. "I don't know how I can keep living like this. I don't want to. I'm just tired."

"I am too Rick. But we're strong. We'll figure it out. C'mon. Can you at least think about it a little longer? Maybe you'll change your mind," Daryl said hopeful.

"Daryl," he sighed. "Alright", he said. He wasn't angry anymore.

He stood at the door of Rick's bedroom and watched him sleep. He knew what he had to do; be strong for both. How he would do this, he did not know, but he hoped that he would know soon. _I'm sorry Rick. You are the only one I got left. I can't lose ya. _

Daryl walked back to his bedroom hoping tomorrow things would be okay.

And they were.


	3. Chapter 3

Back to Life

**Chapter 3: Haunting**

Daryl

He woke up from the deepest sleep feeling a soreness in every muscle in his body from the previous day's near drowning. _Damn. I'm getting old. _Daryl stretched his arms slowly only to be stopped by the aching feeling. He got up and went to the bathroom feeling hungry already. After his bathroom trip, he stopped by Rick's bedroom, which was right next to it. The door was not shut completely, so he didn't need to push it open more; he could see well from where he stood. Rick seemed to be asleep. He looked peaceful on his bed despite yesterday's event. Daryl hoped he would be fine. He remembered there was no food and that meant hunting. He considered taking Rick with him; he thought it would be good for him, a distraction.

Daryl stepped out of the shack to get some fresh air. He had slept shirtless and the air felt good on his bare chest. He put his hand down his right pocket searching for something; a cigarette. "Fuck", he cursed at the wet cigarette. _Should'a taken off my pants too. _Daryl almost laughed at his own remark. He was feeling in a good mood despite yesterday's incident. It was a strange feeling. He frowned at the cigarette and dropped it on the grass. It had been his last one. Daryl did not have a smoking problem but he did like to have a cigarette once in a while. His father had been a drunk and a smoker. It was no surprise that Daryl had picked up the habit, especially at a young age.

He stared at the trees around him. Everything seemed quiet. He heard absolutely nothing. It was a rare and peaceful moment but it wasn't right. He missed the sound of birds and the presence of squirrels running around looking for food. It was beautiful here, and peaceful. Daryl knew it would be nice to stay here for a long time; he loved the forest, always had, but he also knew that this was only temporary. Ever since he was a kid, the happy moments he got to enjoy, which were very few, didn't last long, and this was no exception. He'd caught a break at the prison; a long one, and he was grateful for that. Now it was just Rick and him and he wished they could catch a permanent break.

He began to worry as he thought about the safety of both men. They'd done alright for days, with no herds passing through the forest, but how long would that last. He knew they had to move somewhere else but he didn't know where. There was no place safe, except for Terminus, but that was out of the question. _We gotta go somewhere. But where? There's nowhere to go to._

They were in the worse situation. They had no ammo, no food, no car. _We're fucked. We can't survive out here like this. What do I do? What do I do?_ He sighed. _First things first, _he thought. _We need food._

He heard the footsteps coming from behind and he turned to meet his gaze. Rick's eyes were red and his face looked aged from grief. "Hey," Rick told him.

"Hey," Daryl replied. He noticed Rick dart his eyes at Daryl's exposed chest. He hadn't been conscious that this was the first time he'd been shirtless in front of him. "You slept alright?" he asked him. Rick's eyes darted back to meet Daryl's and said "I did. What about you?"

Daryl nodded, obviously lying, but not wanting Rick to see it.

"Rick. There's no food. Let's go hunting," Daryl said as Rick yawned and stretched himself. Rick met him with a puzzled look. "Damn. Alright. Now?" Rick replied. Daryl nodded. They went inside to get their weapons.

Daryl wondered if Rick was angry at him as they walked through the forest He wanted to ask him but he was afraid to. He decided to not think about that and focus on the hunt.

"Here's a good spot", the hunter said, as he crouched over the ground and started tying two sticks together. Rick watched as he assembled the trap. He was amazed at how quickly Daryl's hands had set up the trap. He admired the skill the man showed for these kind of things; he always had. "You taught yourself?" Rick asked him. "I did", he replied, getting up.

The weather was starting to feel warmer and Daryl became thirsty. "Let's come back later," he said and they walked down another route away from the spot Daryl wouldn't forget.

_He's too quiet_, Daryl thought as they walked by trees that weren't providing much shade. His long hair was starting to become wet and he felt the need to take off his shirt but didn't. Rick followed Daryl as he sat on a big oddly shaped rock. "Where are you planning to go to?" Rick asked him taking him aback, the silence finally shattering. He knew exactly what he was referring to.

"Dunno yet. But I will think of something", Daryl replied, his voice calm and confident. "You mad about yesterday?"

Rick sat next on the ground across Daryl and said "Yeah. A bit." Daryl tried not to frown at that and wiped a drip of sweat off his forehead with the bandana hanging from his pants pocket.

"We should move soon," Rick said. He was looking down at the ground as if thinking of other things.

"Yeah," Daryl replied. The heat was starting to get to him and he wondered if a squirrel or a rabbit had fallen into his trap. They sat in silence a few more minutes, none of them saying what was on their mind, when they heard rustling from Rick's direction. Looking towards that direction at the same time, Daryl raised his crossbow and Rick his gun. He'd let Daryl know that he only had twelve bullets before they left the shack and Daryl told him to take his blade too.

They got on their feet as the rustling came from more than one direction. Daryl knew it was walkers before they came out of from behind the tall trees. They came out fast at spotting Daryl and Rick, six of them total. Daryl had hoped they were only a couple and that they would be able to take them out quick.

Daryl aimed at the grotesque female looking creature and fired the arrow right through its skull. A very fat walker came at Rick and he waited for it to get close enough to bury the sharp blade into its head while Daryl prepared another arrow and fired it at another walker going towards Rick's direction. "I got this one!" Rick yelled out as he ran for the slowest of the walkers who limped oddly, Rick observing then that the bone from its leg was sticking out through its dark rotten flesh. He didn't struggle at striking its head with the blade and he didn't stop stabbing at it for more than two minutes. Daryl watched him do this and didn't dare tell the man to stop. Rick had done the same thing to a few walkers on their way out of Terminus.

The remaining two walkers moved slower than the others, both male, and Daryl's arrows brought them to the ground in a matter of seconds.

Daryl stood still, holding his crossbow up high, waiting for more of them to come out, while Rick remained crouching by the dead walker. When no more walkers came out of the forest, Daryl lowered his crossbow and walked towards Rick. "You okay?" he asked the man, his face covered with sweat and walker blood. If this had been the old world, anyone that saw Rick would have frozen with fear of standing next to him.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Rick answered, not sounding the bit friendliest. Daryl dismissed his tone and said, "Let's go then". Daryl could have sworn he heard Rick mutter the word _shit_.

He checked the trap and found nothing had landed on it. "Fucking shit," he cursed. Deep down, Daryl had had a feeling that this would happen. He didn't know why; he just did; but he refused to say anything. If Daryl had had his motorcycle with him, he would have gone searching for food into any town. For a second, the hunter felt a moment of impotence. He then remembered something and felt like such an idiot. _The lake._

Rick

Rick felt a rain of guilt wash over him as he stood in front of the big lake he'd discovered not too long ago. He'd found it not yesterday, but not another day when Daryl had knocked out for a few hours and didn't come looking for him. He had felt guilty about it. Rick couldn't remember seeing any fish in the water but Daryl said he had seen some. He got lost in his thoughts as Daryl looked for a piece of wood he could sharpen. _I could have just done it_, he thought. He tried not to sigh as Daryl walked past him with a long wooden stick in one hand and his knife in the other. Rick caught himself feeling anger towards Daryl as he watched him work his knife on the stick. He stared at him with blazing eyes, feeling angrier, remembering. How could he do that? he thought. How dared he. Rick felt like punching something. He wanted to punch Daryl. It took him a few minutes to form the courage to take a walk instead.

Rick hated being in his head. He wanted nothing more but to just shut it off; stop his thoughts completely. He wanted to stop thinking about Terminus but the images came at him like tv commercials that would repeat every five minutes. Rick wanted to stop thinking altogether. _This needs to stop. _Rick wanted to run far away from the lake, from Daryl, and just shoot himself in the head. _No. Stop, _a small voice echoed somewhere in his head. Rick wanted to scream. _Just do it. It's what you have to do. _He took the gun from his belt and stared at it with fear. He stood there, shaking, then fell on his knees and cried.

"I can't do it," he said to no one, his voice broken. "I can't do it."

He then heard footsteps on the grass. He knew it was Daryl when the man didn't say anything while Rick was still on his knees. Rick met Daryl's appalled eyes and said, "I couldn't do it." Daryl looked at Rick, wanting to say something but not knowing what. He extended his hand out to Rick to help him stand and he took it.

They walked to the shack and encountered zero walkers on their way there. Daryl had caught three fish and Rick forced himself to eat as they sat in the small table in the kitchen. They ate in silence and Rick didn't thank Daryl as he walked to his room. He laid in bed and wished he could fall asleep instantly but of course that didn't happen.

The next day he woke to find Daryl was nowhere to be seen. He'd checked his room, the bathroom, and walked outside the shack to not find the man there. The bright sunlight hit his face directly and he squinted as he saw Daryl running towards him. "Daryl! What's wrong?" he asked him as Daryl stood just a few feet from him, his face was sweaty and hair messy.

"Rick," Daryl said in his serious tone. "I saw someone. A girl. She looked young," he explained. Rick's eyes grew big with curiosity, and fear. "I called to her but she ignored me. She saw me. I tried following her but she got a little far and I didn't want to go that far without you knowing where I was."

Rick processed the information and saw these as bad news. "Did you see anyone else?" he asked, his tone worrisome. "No. Just her."

"Are you sure?" Rick asked. His head was already spinning with thoughts and fear. Rick pictured a group in his mind; a group of bad people. He didn't want to deal with that; he really didn't, but he needed to know right now if that was something he had to prepare for. "I'm sure," Daryl replies. "Should we go after her?" he then asked.

"What for? So we can get killed in the process?" Rick replies.

"Maybe she's hurt. Maybe she needs our help."

"So what if she does? We all need help. If you want to go after her, go ahead. But I'm not going," Rick says, annoyed and frustrated. Daryl glares at him in disbelief. "Don't you have a conscience? She could die Rick."

"I used to have one. Maybe she will do just that. Maybe it's a good thing," the former sheriff says back, giving Daryl an intense look; the look he always gave to someone when he was done with his argument. He then walks away, into the shack.

Rick sat on a chair in the living room staring at the big wooden clock that hung from the dark brown wall, next to the chimney. The clock was broken and Rick stared at its non-ticking hands, wondering if he could get it to work. He got up and checked the back of it to find that the battery was missing. Remembering that he had an extra battery in his bag, he went into his room to retrieve it. The battery he had was a triple A and did not fit the clock. He sighed in disappointment and sat back on the chair, holding the clock on his lap. _What the hell am I doing? What do I care what time it is. It doesn't matter anymore._

Daryl came in through the door like a moody teenager, slamming the door back and going into his room. He came back out wearing his angel winged vest and stood in front of Rick. "I'm going to go look for the girl. Just letting ya know." He then walked towards the door and was stopped by Rick telling him to not go. "Just let it go Daryl."

"No Rick. I can't. She could be a good person," Daryl said. Rick scoffed at him. "Right. That's very likely. Well you go ahead and hope that you don't end up getting into trouble," he said sounding harsher than he anticipated. Daryl gave him a look of disbelief before he walked out the door, not slamming the door this time.


	4. Chapter 4

Back to Life

**Chapter 4: Stranger**

Rick

"Fucking Daryl," Rick said to no one as he walked down the path he thought Daryl had headed in. He knew what he was doing, what they were both doing, was plain reckless, not to mention dangerous, but it was Daryl and he wasn't going to let him go into the forest alone going after some stranger only to not have him come back; after what they've been through, he knew that was very possible. Rick couldn't understand why Daryl couldn't let this go.

After walking through the forest for what it felt like more than hour, he decided to sit down on a rock and realized that he had no idea if he was still on Daryl's trail. His feet hurt and he wished he was wearing more comfortable shoes instead of his boots. He sat there, his hair drenched in sweat, and thought if he should continue walking south or try going west.

_I could just walk back. Maybe he won't find that girl and he'll just go back to the shack. _Rick then thought about how long Daryl had spent looking for Sophia after she went missing. He'd gone on his own and made it back to the farm on his own. Of course he'd gotten hurt in the process but he'd made it back alive. When Rick first met Daryl, he right away saw through him. He thought of him as trouble maker who couldn't and wouldn't cooperate with the rest of group and that would only cause him headaches. If this had been the old world, he would have kept his on eye on him if Daryl would get himself in trouble often. But Daryl had surprised Rick beyond belief. He'd proved Rick wrong in so many ways and Rick was truly grateful to have had Daryl in his life when the dead had come back to life. Rick had seen a number of troublemakers and criminals change and redeemed themselves in his days as a cop but they didn't compare to the way Daryl had changed since their first encounter. Daryl had done things for Rick and the group that he didn't think anyone else would do, and that included his own best friend, Shane. Rick thought Daryl was a very good man and he regretted thinking lowly of him back then.

Rick's thoughts were stopped abrupt by a walker that came out of the tall plants behind the pine tree he walked next to. The walker growled and moved fast once it saw Rick. Rick pulled out his knife from his pocket as it came towards him and put it out of its misery as it stumbled down when its foot got caught on a branch that grew out of the ground. He cleaned the blood off his blade on the ground and avoided looking at the dead creature.

He continued walking west, thirsty and hungry, wondering if he was ever going to find Daryl. The path he was walking was very unfamiliar to him and he hoped he wouldn't get lost as he kept walking. Rick had some experience in searching for people in forests, and other places too, but he'd never been in a forest this big and he usually had a map with him during the search. Even though there was shade where he was, the temperature was rising by the minute and Rick considered taking off his shirt to cool off a little but shook off the idea once he remembered about the random walkers that kept coming out of nowhere. Rick was tired and he wanted nothing but to just walk back and take a cold shower. He'd always enjoyed taking cold showers, even in the not so warm weather.

After another half an hour of walking in the same path surrounded by the same trees and plants, he decided to walk back to the shack.

He tried to stay awake as he laid on the old worn out mattress in his room, his boots off, but the eternal walk he'd taken and the searing heat were battling against his tired body. Rick didn't need to see a clock to know that the sun would set soon. _Daryl. I hope you're ok. _He knew he could take care of himself but he still felt an uneasy feeling in his stomach. Rick wanted to continue looking for him but he was just too tired. His head ached and if it weren't for his worry for Daryl's return, he would have fallen asleep right where he was.

The banging sound against the glass on the window made Rick jump off and like a reflex, he had his gun in his hand in a less than a second. Without putting on his boots, he walked slowly towards the door of his room and peeked out of the room into the living room. A disgusting face stood against the glass and Rick thought about his next course of action. He thought about staying quiet until it just left and then Rick saw that he was really in trouble when three more walkers appeared. "Fuck."

Rick knew he couldn't use his gun but he also didn't know if there were more walkers outside. He considered going out through the back and luring them away from the shack one by one. Before Rick could even walk out of the bedroom, he heard something hit the glass. With adrenaline already streaming down his blood vessels, he stepped out of the room and saw the walker's head sliding down the glass, an arrow through its head.

_Daryl._

He knew he had to act quickly and it was risky to open the door but he had to help him. When he opened the door, a walker landed on the floor by his feet. A long wooden object that looked like some type of spear was impaled in the walker's head. Rick stared at the weapon for a few seconds then looked up and found a girl staring right at him. She was shorter than him and Daryl and had long dark hair. The girl was wearing black worn out jeans and a green dirty shirt. She was covered in dirt from head to toe; especially her face and he had trouble seeing her facial features. He could tell her eyes were dark and that she had that dead-killer look he'd seen on those he'd met.

Rick stepped out the door, walking over the dead body and saw Daryl shoot the last walker down. He was relieved at seeing Daryl had come back but he couldn't help to feel a wave of anger build up as he walked towards him. "Rick," Daryl said. "I found her." He was very sweaty and had that tired look on his face.

"I can see that," Rick replied, trying to sound indifferent. He wanted to yell at him for bringing a stranger and he fought hard to restrain himself from doing so in front of her. Daryl stared at Rick with bitter eyes and said "You mad?"

Rick stared at him with what Daryl understood as disappointment. "We'll talk later. Get her inside." Daryl gave Rick look of disbelief and walked towards the girl.

Rick sat outside motionless on a wooden chair. It'd been covered in blood and he'd put a rag over it that he'd found in the back of the shack. Nighttime had fallen and he realized he hadn't eaten all day as a cold breeze made his skin shiver. He'd been lost in thought and almost jumped up in his chair when he heard the door open abruptly. "She fell asleep," Daryl said in his apathetic voice and Rick could tell from his tone that he was very tired too.

Rick didn't say anything to that and Daryl took that as confirmation that the conversation they were about to have would be as unpleasant as their last. He didn't want to argue tonight but with Rick, that was unlikely. Daryl went to stand across Rick and said "She was in bad shape when I found her Rick. She wouldn't have made it out there if I hadn't found her. I know you ain't ok with this but she's here now. I don't think she's dangerous. I already questioned her. She was in a group but they left her, because they thought she was weak. Now don't tell me that ain't fucked up."

For some reason that he couldn't comprehend, Rick did not feel bad for the girl. He tried to understand why Daryl had risked his life going after a girl he owned nothing to. "We know nothing about her. Do you understand that Daryl? Has the past taught you nothing?" Daryl remained quiet and Rick added, "She's a threat. She shouldn't be here. She could kill us in our sleep."

"She won't. I'll keep my eye on her. Let's give her a few days, see how she behaves and stuff. If I'm wrong about her, I'll deal with her. Now can we please just stop talking about this? I'm tired man."

Rick thought about saying something else but instead he said, "Fine. Go rest. I'll take watch. You know we have to move soon right? We can't stay here."

"I know. We'll talk in the morning."

By the time the sun rose, Rick could barely blink. He wished he had had some coffee in his system but of course that was a luxury he was likely never going to have again. He built the strength to get up the chair and felt a sore pain in every muscle when he attempted to stretch out his arms. Rick had been lucky that no walker had passed by through the night. He could barely walk and wanted nothing more than to sleep on his shabby mattress. When he opened the door, he was startled by the girl standing in the middle of the room. She looked the same as yesterday; dirty and exhausted. "Hi," she said in a girly voice. The girl looked no more than sixteen and Rick found it hard to believe she'd been out there by herself and hadn't died in a day. "I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself yesterday. That was rude of me. My name is Nicole. And you're Rick right? Nice to meet you."

Rick was taken aback by the manners the stranger presented. He was still suspicious of her regardless. "It's odd to hear that. But yeah, nice to meet you too," he said. The girl let out a chuckle. "You're right. It is odd," she replied. "Where is my spear? I was looking for it before you came in."

"I don't know. I was out keeping watch all night. Daryl in his room?"

"I think so, yeah."

Rick walked into Daryl's room and shook tapped him on the shoulder and he woke right away. "I'm guessing ya wanna sleep?" Daryl said, rubbing his right eye.

"Your guess is correct."

"Go ahead. I'll keep an eye on her."

"You hid her spear?"

"Yep."

"Good."

Rick woke up feeling like a baby that'd just slept for sixteen hours. His muscles felt less sore as he got up to walk and found Daryl and Nicole sitting outside the shack. "Hey," he said.

"Hey. You slept good?" Daryl asked, who looked in a mellower mood than before. Rick wondered if the girl had anything to do with that. He noticed the girl's face was clean now and her hair looked cleaner too as if she'd shampooed it. It looked lighter out in the sun. "I slept very good," Rick replied.

"You hungry? We were waiting for you to wake up to go catch some fish," Daryl said.

"I think I'm hungry. Let's do that, yeah."

Between the three of them, they managed to catch five fish. Rick wasn't sure who had been the happiest about their 'victory'; Daryl or Nicole. He'd been happy himself but unlike Daryl, he didn't allow himself to drop his guard around the girl. Daryl on the other hand treated the girl as if he would treat anyone from their former group, especially since her spear had done most of the catching.

Rick watched the girl devour her fish like an animal. Clearly she'd been starving longer than Rick and Daryl. He wondered if she had made the spear herself or if she'd gotten it from somewhere or someone. It was well crafted and he could tell that it had killed a numerous amount walkers by the dried blood that she'd failed to remove of it. He decided to ask her who she'd gotten it from because there was no way she'd made that herself when she was clueless at surviving in the wild. "It was my friend's. His name was Henry. I took it after he died," she replied. Rick did not want to know how that had come to be so he continued to eat his food in silence. Still, he knew he had to ask, and there was a lot to ask.

It was up to Daryl and Rick to keep watch for walkers and even though they were both beat, they had to do it. Rick volunteered this time and Daryl did not oppose his suggestion.

The sky was dark and the forest around him was even darker and if it wasn't for the stars and the moon shining their light down below, Rick would need a flashlight to see his surroundings. The air felt cool on his skin and he walked around the shack, thinking. He couldn't help to feel a distrusting feeling towards the stranger. So far she hadn't acted out in a suspicious manner, but that could just be part of her act. _I'm doubting a teenager Daryl rescued from dying out there. What am I doing?_

He continued walking, his thoughts not leaving him. The air felt cooler that he shivered and he wished it the cold would numb his mind. He didn't want to think anymore. As ironic as it was, he just wanted to walk and enjoy the night's silence.

One of Rick's best qualities as a former policeman was his hearing. Shane had once told him that he had the hearing of a dog whenever they would nap in parking lots while in patrol. He just knew it was a walker and his heart began to race as he slowly walked around the shack to the back of it where he'd heard the rustling. The back of the shack was even darker and he stopped at his footsteps deciding to remain still. He then heard a sound of what sounded like coughing and not growling. It was loud and Rick became very confused as the coughing sound turned into gagging. He tried to figure out what was going on. _Can walkers do that?_ he wondered. Rick felt a chill as he became certain that someone or _something _was vomiting right by the trees. "Who's there?" he called out, his voice fearless and demanding, his gun pointing at the dark. The gagging sound ceased and then there was silence. "Who's there?" Rick repeated, taking three small steps forward. He waited for an answer and again there was none. He could tell the figure was standing there in the dark but he could not see who it was. "Who is there damn it! Answer or I'll shoot," Rick said, his voice full of alarm more than fear.

A voice finally spoke, "It's me Nicole. Don't shoot Rick." The black figure took a few steps across and Rick could make out the shape of her figure a little clearer.

"What the hell are you doing out here? Why didn't you say anything when I called out to you?" he asked, angrily.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't feeling well. I think it was the fish. I feel a little better now," the girl said. She then walked past Rick and went back to the shack.

He then heard other footsteps coming from behind them. He turned around to find Daryl running towards him. "Rick? Everything alright?"

"Yeah. I thought I saw something but it was just Nicole throwing up. Said it was the fish we ate earlier."

"Huh. That's odd. I cooked it pretty well," Daryl said.

"I know. Go back inside."

"Alright."

The rest of the night was oddly quiet and Rick was relieved when Daryl came out to tell him he would continue. Rick assumed the sun would rise soon but he didn't care. He was more than ready to close his eyes and get some sleep.

When he woke up, he and Daryl began talking about moving to another place; something they thought they should have done days ago. They sat in the living room while Nicole was in the bathroom. "We should go west. Get out da forest and walk down by whatever highway until we can find a bigger place, or at least a more secure one," Daryl said. "Maybe we can find a car along the way."

"Ok," was all Rick said. Daryl shot him an odd look. Nicole then came out of the bathroom and greeted them good morning to which both men did not meet with the same greeting. "Feel better?" Rick then asked her, trying to show some concern.

"I am, yeah. What's for breakfast?" she then asked, leaving Daryl and Rick speechless. They both stared at her, Rick with disbelief in his eyes.

"I'm joking. Sorry," the girl then said, feeling embarrassed and regretting saying that.

The men did not smile or even forced a chuckle. She then came to sit on the small blue couch, next to Daryl. "We're talking about moving places. It's not an option. Just letting ya know. Since you're living with us."

"Oh," the girl said. Rick looked at her and he couldn't feel but to feel annoyed towards her. What was wrong with him, he wondered. He watched her sit there, her gaze down, rubbing her hands on her knees. She seemed nervous. "Something wrong?" he asked her.

"Um. Well…"she said. Rick watched her as the nervousness became more apparent. "Ok I need to tell you guys something. But please don't freak out," she said, her eyes avoiding Rick's.

"What is it?" Daryl asked, his brow furrowed. Rick thought he could tell what he was thinking. Nicole had been either bit or scratched.

"I think I'm pregnant," the girl said.

Rick could not tell if what he was feeling was relief or complete dismay.


	5. Chapter 5

Back to Life

**Chapter 5: Weight Lift**

Daryl

Daryl sat silent as the girl sobbed next to him. He wasn't good at dealing with emotional situations, especially girls crying. He wanted to get up as he grew more uncomfortable by the girl's crying. Rick then asked her if she was sure she was pregnant. Nicole attempted to stop her whimpering as she tried to answer Rick's question and managed to say, "Yeah". The girl stifled some more and then said, "There's something else I should tell you."

Nicole's sobbing had stopped. Her eyes were red and she brushed the liquid off her eyes with her hands. "You know how I told you my group kicked me out because they thought I was just a burden? That's not what happened." Daryl's body tensed up at that and he felt his throat dry up a little. He watched Nicole's face become sadder. She then looked both sad and scared.

"The group I was in…there were fifteen total. Eleven guys and four women. We all got along just fine. We had a camp not too far from here but we were always moving; never stayed in one place more than two or three days. It wasn't safe, but we made it work. The men were in charge of keeping watch and the women took care of the cooking mostly. One night, they all drank. The women too, including myself. I didn't get drunk but the men got pretty drunk." Nicole stopped talking, then looked down at her feet. Daryl noticed her eyes started watering again.

"I was sitting by myself. I usually kept to myself. One of the guys started to walk towards me. He'd talked to me before but I didn't consider him my friend. I smelled the alcohol as soon as he opened his mouth to speak and I remember I feeling disgusted immediately. He asked me if I was having a good time. I told him I did. He then started to touch me and asked me if I liked to party hard in college. I told him I didn't. He laughed. I told him I had to go to the bathroom, which was a lie. He said he would go with me to make sure nothing happened to me. I hesitated at his offer but took it anyway, just to be cautious. Those things are just everywhere. I only had to pee but I took a while. I was trying to clear my head. When we got back to the camp, I was horrified. There were bodies on the ground and there was moaning and whimpering. At first I wasn't sure what I was looking at but then it all became clear. No one was dead and no one was moaning from pain. The women's screams were muffled by the men's hands but I could still hear them. I saw them take off their pants and I screamed at them to stop. I launched myself at one of them and I tried to pull him off the girl. He just pushed me to the side while the rest of the men just stood there and laughed. I was scared and I wanted to help my friends but I wasn't strong enough to take on any of them. After I got up, the guy I had been talking to; his name is Jim; pulled me towards him and put his disgusting lips on me. I immediately pushed him off of me and slapped him. He slapped me back and came towards me. He hit me once more, this time harder and I fell to the ground. In the next second he was on top of me and he grabbed my breasts. I tried so hard to get him off of me. I figured with all the alcohol he'd had he would just tumble to the side but he didn't. He was stronger than me. He ripped my shirt open and I bit his hand when he tried to cover my mouth to stop me from screaming. I screamed as loud as I could hoping that one of those monsters would come out of the shadows and bite any of the men standing there. But that didn't happen. I remember the guy hitting me in the head and undressing me while I was barely conscious. They all took a turn. I remember each one of their faces. Every one of them laughed as they entered me. I laid there and closed my eyes and tried not to feel anything. I wanted to die." Nicole wasn't crying anymore. She just sat there, not looking at the two men in front of her. "I didn't sleep that night. I waited for all of them to fall asleep. None of the men stayed up to keep watch. My whole body ached but I got up anyway. I knew I had to do something. At first I considered killing them all one by one but that was too risky. Then I thought about the other girls. I had to make sure they were okay. I don't know how it happened but one of them was dead. I was only to wake up one of them and told her to come with me. I told her that we just couldn't stay here but she didn't want to come with me; said we didn't have a chance out there on our own and that she was better off with them. She tried to convince me to stay and I tried to convince her to leave. As I left the camp, I thought about finding some of those zombies and luring them back to the camp and I almost went through with it if it weren't for the women. I regret leaving them but I just couldn't stay there."

If Daryl had thought he had been feeling nothing but some kind of numbness for days, he was now feeling a lot of things. He was feeling pissed and he was feeling disgust and hatred for those pieces of trash Nicole had stayed with. He wanted to beat their heads senseless and he wanted to put an arrow through their shit ass dicks with his bare hands. Rick could feel the anger coming off of Daryl. He could feel the fumes radiate from his skin. Rick looked at him but Daryl did not turn to look at him back. Rick felt bad for the girl but not as bad as Daryl. "I'm so sorry that that happened to you," was all Rick said. Nicole looked at Rick but said nothing.

"I don't want this baby," she then said. Daryl's anger was suddenly diminished and almost completely gone. "I don't want this baby," Nicole continued, "because it's not going to make it out here. It's going to die as soon as it's born, so why go through the pain." Daryl understood what she meant. Lori had gone through the predicament and although the group had tried hard to protect baby Judith, they'd failed.

"We can look for a safe place. We'll find one. We've done it before," Daryl said. Nicole's face remained blank, the look of hopelessness never leaving her. Daryl looked at Rick this time. Rick returned the look and Daryl made from it that he was angry at him for saying that.

"Don't make promises you can't keep," Rick then said. He then got up and left the room.

Nicole shot Daryl a confused look. "What was that about?" she asked. Daryl didn't want to answer that. He knew damn well why Rick was angry. He almost regretted saying those words to the girl but he knew he had to say them. "Nothing. Don't worry about it," Daryl replied. "I'm going out for a walk. You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah. I'm just going to go lie down for a bit," she said.

It was surprisingly bright outside the little shack and it took Daryl's vision almost a whole minute to adjust. He found Rick standing in front of a tree not taller than him. Its leaves were the color leaves were when they were watered often. Daryl came to stand next to Rick. "Why did you have to say that? Can't you see how messed up she was?" Daryl spat. He knew this conversation wouldn't end up well. Rick didn't seem to flinch one bit at Daryl's remark. He just stood there, his face not angry, but not calm. Just there. It's the same look Rick had been wearing for who knows how long now.

"So we're supposed to protect her now? That the plan? Like we protected everyone else. No Daryl. I'm not doing that. You already know how this will end. You know it damn fucking well. Don't be lying to yourself trying to think otherwise. You should know by fucking now how it always ends," Rick responded, pain pouring out in his last three words.

"We tried Rick. You know we did," Daryl said.

"Well we didn't try hard enough!" Rick shouted, throwing his hands up. Daryl prepared for a punch in the face and almost closed his eyes when he noticed Rick kneeling in front of him. He couldn't help to feel shocked when he heard his cries. He looked like a wounded animal. _Please stop, _he thought. The crying grew louder. _Stop. _He wanted to say it out loud but couldn't. He couldn't open his mouth and he didn't realize his own eyes were filling up with tears. _Rick, stop. _He wanted to do anything to get him to stop. He just didn't know what. It was almost impossible for Daryl to even attempt to hug another person. But this was Rick and he knew he needed it. Daryl needed it too. He was afraid to do it. He didn't know how. It felt like an eternity since he'd hugged another human being. _Just do it damn it. Look how much he's suffering. _It took him some courage and some thinking and then Daryl knelt down in front of Rick and with slow movements stretched one arm and placed it on Rick's shoulder. Rick's head slowly turned to face Daryl's. He looked like an old man, the kind that lived on the street searching for food in the dumpster. If anyone saw Rick right now, they would have never thought he used to be a cop. It hurt Daryl to look into this man's eyes but he couldn't look away. In them he saw everything he had seen as a kid: pain, hopelessness, loss. He saw a man that was beyond broken. Daryl had almost forgotten why he was kneeling in front of this broken man. He had been so hypnotized by Rick's brokenness. He had never seen that before. Snapping himself out of it, Daryl pulled himself into Rick and gave him the hug he needed. At first, the hug felt awkward, almost wrong. Like he didn't think he was doing it right. Then Rick pressed his body to Daryl's harder as if he was afraid to go somewhere and not come back. Daryl felt the hug start to feel different. It felt better, felt…right. Suddenly, Daryl's pain felt less; felt as though he was carrying a large heavy box filled with rocks and someone came to help him carry it. The box felt somewhat lighter. Daryl wondered if it felt the same for Rick. He hoped this was making it if not better, at least not worse.

They remained on the ground for what seemed to be minutes, neither of them letting go.


End file.
